However,I have crossed it,for you,for us,long back,everytime.But you still see the 'No' I say and do not see or feel that I have been doing All that for which its a 'no' for me.
You have No's counted but where are my actions gone for all that I said No and still implemented?!
You have one way of showing love or gratitude or care or respect and if I follow or believe showing all this in other way, You say I have no respect .So if I do everything the way you are used to all these years, I have good values, else I am all negative? That is what you say? I dont respect people! Wow!i haven't said that is what you say ,but my dear,this is what you imply .
I never cared what others think,My priority was you everytime,on the other hand,you take an initiative only when others are involved in the scene! What would they think,what would I answer to them!Have you forgotton that You are the creator of this uncomfortable situation!
And as usual I took blames once again from all the usual to new ,and I will keep hearing all of them again and again but I will not act on it because I know you have a ready thought on me if I open my mouth,that is 'I argue,Excuse,I dont talk straight'. Instead of that its better keeping calm and hear more negative thoughts on me from your mind,heart too ,yeah! Now when I talk or stay quiet,anyhow its either a blame or a correction on me or one of my negative manner that you point.But before anything of this mentioned ,you point on me, I know you say,I mean its not intentional,you actually feel that you never stopped me from Nything,you never are judgemental about my decisions,you never lowered my self respect.You feel you support me in a particular situation but what is the use you feel so when you point out the same thing sometime or everytime !You will agree to one of my way or policy and later point out on that saying,"You are like this!you did that,why do you do this ,It pains me,I never forced on u anything!" Diplomatic?! Self defensive? Being real and talking unreal or vice versa?
Ending the page but not the situation,as usual,my talk hits his mind either as explanation or excuse or argument.My calmness creates more negative thoughts in him.With My neutral behaviour or neutral talk he assumes that I talk About my sacrifices .As usual ,I might probably again, put back the pain and go on.Go on not to increase the gap between wife and husband.Or I might be stubborn not baring anymore if I just keep putting all that aside ,everytime.
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